WWE SmackDown Retro GRADED: January 8, 2004 - Oh Chavo...

It’s the second SmackDown of 2004, coming one week after Los Guerreros threatened to explode and a bunch of people entered the upcoming Royal Rumble match, including John Cena, Kurt Angle, and Chris Benoit. 

Today’s show emanates from Huntsville, Alabama, and aired on January 8, 2004. 

WWE SmackDown GRADED - January 8, 2004:

We recap last week’s drama with Los Guerreros and Kurt Angle and then get the usual opening sequence. 

Kurt Angle is out and basks in the ‘USA’ chants as we get a shot of some troops in the crowd. Angle says last week was supposed to be the perfect beginning to a new year, but Los Guerreros threatened to self-destruct, and it ruined everything. Angle calls out Chavo as he wants to settle this thing right now.

Angle thinks Chavo should do the right thing and apologise as we get a big ‘Eddie’ chant. Chavo says he slapped Eddie for his own good. He’d slap him again and might even slap Kurt, too. Good luck with that one, Chavo. 

Here’s Eddie to chase Chavo off as Angle again plays peacekeeper and gets them to shake hands in an uneasy fashion.

We get a video recap of Hardcore Holly smashing Big Show with a steel chair from last week’s show.

Backstage, Josh Mathews interviews Big Show, who is so mad about what happened he kept the chair - I reckon TKO would take the cost of that chair out of his salary these days - Show can’t wait to take on Hardcore Holly in a Street Fight later. Neither can I, Show. Neither can I.

Chris Benoit comes out for his scheduled match, but here’s SmackDown General Manager Paul Heyman to flip the script and book Benoit in a Mini Royal Rumble against The FBI instead.

Chris Benoit def. The FBI (Chuck Palumbo, Nunzio & Johnny Stamboli) - Mini Royal Rumble

Stamboli is out first and Benoit wastes no time with a running forearm and a snap suplex. Benoit works him over in the corner with forearms, chops and stomps. They slug it out and try to get each other over the top rope before Benoit slaps on the Sharpshooter, as Stamboli taps. 

Chuck Palumbo is out second and he works over Benoit in the corner before taking a German suplex. Stamboli gets suplexed stomach-first onto the top rope but Palumbo knocks Benoit down before he can eliminate The Bull. Benoit ducks a clothesline and baseball slides Stamboli’s legs, however, eliminating him. 

Palumbo with a gnarly back suplex on Benoit, who counters a fireman’s carry into the Crippler Crossface, as Palumbo taps. Nunzio is out and the FBI double up on Benoit, but can’t get him over the top. Nunzio low-bridges the top rope, but Benoit counters and sends Palumbo over the top. Nunzio is eliminated, while Palumbo escapes. 

Benoit counters a powerbomb into a hurricanrana, but Palumbo hits him with his fireman’s carry move. Palumbo goes to eliminate him, but Benoit backdrops him over the top rope for the win. 

Grade: C- - This was just a warmup for Benoit, who they really seem to be pushing strongly heading into the Rumble.

The Basham Brothers (Doug Basham & Danny Basham) (c) w/Shaniqua vs. Scotty 2 Hotty & Rikishi - WWE Tag Team Championships

This is the match that’s supposed to happen, but the Bashams attack from behind and lay out the challengers. The match looks to be off after Rikishi and Scotty take a belt shot to the head, but here’s Kurt Angle to inform the Bashams that he’s just left Paul Heyman’s office and secured a replacement team: Los Guerreros.

And so we get…

The Basham Brothers (Doug Basham & Danny Basham) (c) w/Shaniqua def. Los Guerreros (Eddie Guerrero & Chavo Guerrero) - WWE Tag Team Championships

Look, we all love Scotty and Rikishi, with their dancing and salad-tossing antics, but this can only be a major improvement as far as match quality is concerned.

Eddie and Danny start out and take turns bumping each other with shoulder tackles. Eddie hits his slingshot hilo from the ring apron, which gets two. Tag to Doug, but Chavo hits him with a dropkick and Eddie uses the tag rope to choke him in the corner. Eddie is in control when Shaniqua distracts the referee and the Bashams cheat to send Eddie to the outside.

Back from the break as the Bashams have isolated Eddie and continue to work him over. Doug slaps on a single-leg Boston crab, but Eddie makes it to the ropes. The Bashams hit a nice slingshot double vertical suplex as they continue to focus on Eddie’s back. 

Eddie keeps fighting back, but can’t make the tag to Chavo before getting cut off. Eddie takes a big powerbomb, but Chavo breaks up the count. Eddie finally manages to hit a dropkick on Danny and kicks Doug away, allowing Chavo to make the hot tag. 

Chavo with a clothesline, dropkick, back body drop and a floatover DDT, which gets two. Chavo with a top-rope diving crossbody, but it only gets two. The Bashams cue up a double team, but Eddie pulls Danny outside the ring. A double dropkick sends Doug out and the Guerreros follow up with double dives to the outside. 

Back inside, Chavo attempts a sunset flip but Doug sits down and holds onto Shaniqua’s hands for leverage to get the three.

After the match, the Bashams attack and beat down Eddie, as Chavo takes a seat and watches from ringside. Chavo eventually gets in the ring and punches Eddie in the face to properly turn heel.

He continues to beat Eddie down, busting him open in the process. Chavo steals Eddie’s lowrider on his way out. Oh, you’ll pay for that one, Chavo. Don’t think you won’t pay. A compelling angle following a very good match.

Grade: B- - Just a real solid formula tag team match here, folks. The Guerreros are smooth as silk and you’d have to think they’d have the titles if they didn’t have their own story going on. 

John Cena def. A-Train

The Doctor of Thuganomics uses his pre-match rap to take the p*ss out of A-Train with Star Wars references, and he mentions Britney Spears’s marriage breaking down. Why did you have to go there, John? It’s not like you’re going to fight the ex-husband or anything, is it? That would be ridiculous. 

Anyway, Albert overpowers Cena to start and blocks the FU before hitting a big right hand. Train with a delayed double underhook suplex for two. He slaps on a chinlock, but Cena fights back and hits Train with a spinning side suplex. Cena hits a weird diving elbow to the back of the head off the top rope and follows it up with a Five-Knuckle Shuffle. The FU ends things soon after.

Grade: D - Not much to the match, but Cena continues to gain momentum, which is the main thing. 

Backstage, Kurt checks in on a bloodied Eddie and apologises for sticking his nose in Guerrero family business. Bit late for that, Kurt.

Rey Mysterio def. Akio w/Sakoda

Rey Mysterio is the reigning Cruiserweight Champion, having defeated Tajiri on last week’s show. This match is non-title, however. Tajiri does not accompany Akio to the ring as he has his own match against Jamie Noble later in the show. 

Rey gets a quick wheelbarrow arm drag to start and grabs a side headlock before Akio whips him into the turnbuckles. Akio throws him up in the air, but Rey counters into an X-Factor for a near fall. Akio counters a hurricanrana attempt into a buckle bomb to take over.

Akio continues to work him over and puts Rey in the tree of woe, but Rey evades his baseball slide attempt and Akio smacks his Jimmy Wang Yangs into the ring post. Rey hits a second-rope springboard crossbody and a satellite reverse DDT for two. Rey jumps off the second rope and gets caught with a spin kick to the gut. Sakoda tries to get involved, but Rey ends up hitting a double 619 before finishing Akio off with a West Coast Pop.

Grade: C+ - A very fun back-and-forth match here. Mysterio is always a joy to watch and Akio got to show a little of what he can do, too. 

It’s time for the Best of Billy Gunn Countdown (finally) as Mr. Ass puts himself over and names the third-best Billy Gunn moment, which is the Smoking Gunns beating Bob Holly & 1-2-3 Kid to win the WWE Tag Team Titles back in 1995. Tune in next week for Billy Gunn’s second-best WWE moment.

Backstage, Hardcore Holly calls Big Show dumb for challenging him to a Street Fight in Alabama. Some would say WWE creative were dumb for booking that match as a SmackDown main event. Not me, though.

Meanwhile, Nidia – who was recently blinded by Tajiri’s poison mist – calls Jamie Noble, who is on his way to the arena. However, Heyman walks by and puts Nidia in the match with Tajiri instead. 

WrestleMania Recall on the WrestleMania XI main event between Bam Bam Bigelow and Lawrence Taylor.

Tajiri def. Nidia

Tajiri takes Nidia down a handful of times before getting bored and hitting a Russian (or I guess Japanese?) legsweep for the three. The win gives Tajiri a shot at the Cruiserweight Title at the Royal Rumble. 

After the ‘match’, Tajiri sets up for the buzzsaw kick but Rey Mysterio runs out for the save. Jamie Noble finally shows up and attacks Rey. That’ll teach him to be chivalrous.

D- - A hard match to grade as it was basically just an angle, but I’m more sad of being robbed of a full-scale Tajiri match. 

Hardcore Holly def. The Big Show - Street Fight

Big Show is the reigning United States Champion, but this is non-title because Show will seemingly never defend the damn thing. WWE Champion Brock Lesnar, who will actually defend his title against Hardcore Holly at the Rumble, joins us on commentary.

Show and Holly brawl on the floor as Show hits him with a kendo stick. In the ring, Holly uses a broom to take over and snaps it over Show’s back. They go back to the floor, where Holly hits Show with a chair and attacks Lesnar. Show breaks that up and sends Holly back-first into the ring post. 

Show hits him with a bin lid. Holly hits him with a sign. Show hits him with a trash can. This is every Hardcore match during the Attitude Era, minus the charm. Holly comes back by taking out Show at the knee before rocking him with a trash can shot to the head. 

Holly counters a chokeslam attempt with pepper spray to Show’s eyes and then kicks him in the World’s Largest Bollocks. Holly hits him in the head with a chair and then wraps the chair around Show’s neck and cranks on it to win via submission.

After the match, Holly goes after Lesnar, who runs away through the crowd. Holly stands tall to end the show.

Grade: D+ - They’re trying with this Holly thing. There’s a natural storyline there after Lesnar broke his neck 15 months ago, and Holly is showing plenty of fire, but something about it just seems a bit off. That’s probably because Holly has been a mid-card guy for so long and is now being thrust into the main event spot against the WWE Champion. We’ve still got a couple of weeks until the Rumble, so let’s see if WWE can heat ol’ Sparky Plugg up a little more.

Show Grade: C - The WWE Tag Team Title match and Chavo turn were the highlights tonight, while WWE seem committed to the pushes of Benoit and Cena. Not much great wrestling on the show, but SmackDown continues to produce very watchable TV and advance storylines as the Rumble draws closer.