WWE Raw Retro GRADED - February 9, 2004: A Legally-Binding Sweet Chin Music?

Last week on Raw, some stuff happened, but none of it was really very important. While SmackDown have No Way Out coming up in six days, the next time the red brand are on pay-per-view is WrestleMania XX, which is what the flagship show will spend the majority of their time building towards.

This week, it’s February 9, 2004, and Monday Night Raw airs from the Rose Garden Arena in Portland, Oregon. 

WWE Raw Graded - February 9, 2004:

We start with pyro and ballyhoo as Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler hype what’s on tap for tonight’s show, specifically a Triple Threat for the Intercontinental Championship with Randy Orton defending against Rob Van Dam and Booker T, a singles match between Ric Flair and Chris Benoit, and Benoit’s WrestleMania contract signing.

Goldberg is out first for a match, but Vince McMahon is here instead of an opponent. Vince talks about how strange it is for them to be in the ring together (true) before cancelling Goldberg’s match for tonight. Before he can explain exactly why, Sheriff Austin is heading down to the ring on his trusty ATV. 

Austin wants to know what Vince is doing here on Raw. He’s broken two of the Sheriff’s laws: being in his ring and p*ssing him off. Vince is here because Austin gave Goldberg a front row ticket to No Way Out. He’s here to reason with them and introduces SmackDown General Manager Paul Heyman to talk about consequences.

Heyman is not going to allow Goldberg to just come to No Way Out and ruin the WWE Title main event between Brock Lesnar and Eddie Guerrero. Goldberg can come and watch the show, but he better not interfere, or else Lesnar will deal with him. Goldberg makes it clear that Lesnar is NEXT, before hitting Heyman with a spear. He goes to hit a second one on Vince, but he moves and Goldberg gets Austin instead. That certainly got a reaction. 

After the break, Austin is nursing his ribs backstage when Goldberg walks up and lets him know that it was a mistake. He’s not apologising though. He asks whether he should expect a Stunner later, to which Austin lets him know that any Stunner he does or does not dish out will not be a mistake. Man, it’s a shame we never got that Austin/Goldberg match, huh?

Elsewhere, Vince McMahon chews out Raw GM Eric Bischoff for not keeping Goldberg in check and then officially suspends Goldberg. If he shows up at No Way Out, it’s gonna be Bischoff’s ass. 

Trish Stratus & Chris Jericho def. Molly Holly & Matt Hardy

Jericho is still not 100% after Kane injured his knee for daring to save Trish Stratus from a chokeslam last week. Matt Facts: Matt loves getting things for free and he has status on five airlines. This is a mixed tag, not intergender, so the men face the men and the women face the women. 

The men start by trading hammerlocks, before Jericho hits a back elbow. Jericho counters a sunset flip attempt into the Walls of Jericho, but Matt makes the ropes. Tag to Molly, who tries to hit Jericho, but he smacks her on the ass and in comes Trish. The women do some mat wrestling and Trish gets a couple of near falls before hitting a clothesline. 

Trish with a nice headscissors takeover out of the corner, but Molly throws her throat-first onto the bottom rope to take over. Molly gets two off a northern lights suplex, but Trish ducks a clothesline and hits a neckbreaker. Tag to the men as Jericho bumps Matt around and then whiffs on an enziguiri (before hitting it on the second attempt). 

Jericho hits the second-rope springboard dropkick to send Matt to the floor, crotches Molly on the top rope and then attempts a dive on Matt but lands on his feet and hurts the bad knee. Matt sends Jericho into the steel steps, as Trish comes in and hits Molly with the handstand hurricanrana in the corner. Matt pulls Trish by the hair, which causes Christian to run out and take out Matt. Trish counters a handspring back elbow into a victory roll for the win. 

Grade: C- - This was fun, as they packed a fair amount into the five-or-so minutes they were out there. Could have used a couple minutes more, to be honest.

After the break, Trish is leaving the trainer’s room when she bumps into Christian. He admits to perhaps being a bit of a jealous jerk lately and doesn’t see any reason why he, Trish, and Jericho can’t all be friends. Christian tells Trish that she looks really good tonight before going in to check on Jericho. What an excellent bastard. 

Backstage, Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade are hanging out and looking at the Sable and Torrie Wilson edition of Playboy together, because they’re just guys being dudes. Just guys being dudes, wearing pants but no shirts. Looking at Playboy. Together. Anyway, Miss Jackie and Stacy Keibler interrupt and promise that they aren’t going to take the Playboy snub lying down. 

Elsewhere, Mick Foley is walking around when he bumps into Jonathan Coachman, who wonders whether Foley hasn’t been embarrassed by Randy Orton enough lately. Foley threatens that tonight it’s Orton who is going to be embarrassed.

Chris Benoit def. Ric Flair

Before they get started, we see Benoit making Mark Henry tap to the Crippler Crossface on last week’s show, with JR noting that Henry recently underwent surgery and will be out for at least four months because of it. 

Tight headlocks and chops to start, before Benoit hits a German suplex and goes for the crossface. Flair escapes, but Benoit follows him and chops away on the outside. Flair responds in kind and they continue to smack each other in the chest until Flair runs back inside the ring and begs off. Benoit doesn’t go for that, so it’s more chops and a back body drop before Flair cuts him off with a straight right to the jaw. 

He hits another and they exchange more chops. Flair with a back elbow, but he does the Flair flop because he’s knackered and his chest looks like mincemeat. Nice knee drop to the back of Benoit’s head, but Flair goes to the top rope and, well, you know how successful that usually is. Top-rope superplex for Benoit, but the diving headbutt misses as both men are down.

Back from the break with Flair in control, but they have yet another chop battle and Flair somehow ends up putting Benoit in the sleeper. Benoit reverses and sends Flair into the corner, however, before they make a mess of a bridging pin sequence. Benoit lands on his feet on the back suplex attempt and hits the rolling Germans. 

Flair with a low blow to prevent a fourth one and slaps on the figure four, but Benoit quickly makes the ropes. Flair continues to work the leg and goes to put the figure four back on, but Benoit counters it into the crossface for the submission victory. 

Grade: B- - It wasn’t always clean, but it was plenty rugged as they just beat the hell out of each other. Benoit getting a clean win over Flair is a good way to build him up for Triple H, considering the connection there. Good business, this.

After the match, HHH says the contract signing is next. And would you look at that, we’re back from the break with tables, chairs and a carpet in the ring. Bischoff is here to mediate. HHH signs first, but cuts Benoit off with some mind games as he talks about the reality of Benoit bottling it on the Grandest Stage after all the years of sacrifice and clawing his way to get to the top. Because that’s reality and reality is Triple H. JR calls him a son of a b*tch, which is always nice to hear. 

Before Benoit can sign the contract, Shawn Michaels interrupts, causing HHH to leave. Shawn doesn’t want to take anything away from Benoit, but his issues with HHH are far more important than Benoit’s and he has to end things at ‘Mania, so that’s what he’s going to do. Benoit lets Shawn know that he respects him, but WrestleMania is his night. 

As he’s talking, Shawn hits him with Sweet Chin Music and then signs the contract in the space where Benoit’s signature should go. Sounds very legally-binding, I must say. Anyway, this was a decent promo segment, even if Shawn comes across as very, very whiny after all the chances he’s had against HHH in the past.

Kane def. The Hurricane

Hurricane attacks to start, hits the Hurri-pose and goads Kane to the floor, before jumping back into the ring and hitting Kane with a dropkick off the apron. Back in the ring, Kane throws Hurricane off and hits a big boot. Kane with a sidewalk slam and then a chokeslam to pick up the quick win. 

Grade: D- - Just a quick squash for Kane as Hurricane seems to have nothing going on these days, besides being a jobber-to-the-stars. 

After the match, Kane’s first two attempts to summon his ring post pyro fail, but the third one works. Another creepy video then plays, however, telling Kane that in 34 days (WrestleMania XX) the dead will rise. 

Backstage, Benoit is furious at Bischoff for what happened during the contract signing. Bischoff vows to have his attorneys sort out the contract situation and books Benoit versus Michaels in a singles match next week. Now THAT should be a hell of a match.

Elsewhere, Terri Runnels interviews Randy Orton, who thinks tonight’s triple threat match is unfair and isn’t happy with Foley being in the building. Orton thinks there’s a conspiracy against him. 

After recapping the opening scene, the now-suspended Goldberg is shown leaving the building when he’s approached for comment by The Coach. Goldberg still has his ticket to No Way Out and Brock Lesnar is still NEXT. 

Back in the arena, Mick Foley is out and claims he’s not here to screw up Orton’s match later, but to explain to everyone why he walked out against Orton on Raw back in December. Orton called him a coward, but Foley thinks that Orton is just using that as a smokescreen to deflect from his own cowardice. 

After bringing up televangelist Jimmy Swaggart (busted with a tonne of porn) and Rush Limbaugh (caught abusing drugs), Foley talks about Orton going AWOL for 82 days while in the Marines before being dismissed early. Maybe when Orton was calling Foley a coward, he was actually talking about himself. 

Foley throws out the challenge for WrestleMania, but Orton pops up on the tron and goads Foley into coming backstage right now instead. If it looks like a set-up, sounds like a set-up and feels like a set-up, well, you better believe you’ve got a set-up! Evolution is waiting for Foley in catering and he takes a pounding, ending with a Batista Bomb through a table. Orton slaps Foley around before walking off. 

Randy Orton (c) def. Rob Van Dam & Booker T - Triple Threat for the WWE Intercontinental Championship

Orton tries to bail early, so Booker follows and hits him with a clothesline on the floor. Back inside, RVD gets a 360 leg drop for two and then hits Booker with a spin kick. RVD fires off more kicks, but Booker comes back with a flying forearm and a side kick. He goes for the axe kick, but Orton pulls him out of the ring. Doesn’t pan out for him, mind, with Booker dropping him onto the guard rail. 

In the ring, RVD takes over with a dropkick before hitting some shoulders to the gut in the corner, followed by a monkey flip for two. RVD hits a jackhammer variation for two, which I guess is fair game now that Goldberg’s suspended. RVD hits a second-rope kick and a Rolling Thunder variation, but Orton breaks up the pin attempt. Orton with a DDT on Booker, but RVD saves. RVD with some kicks to Orton, who switches things around thanks to a thumb to the eye.

After taking some licks RVD comes back with a stepover wheelkick, before lifting Orton up for a spinebuster as Booker hits a jumping sidekick in a Hart Attack variation. RVD hits a first-rope Five-Star Frog Splash on Booker, which was more like a three-and-a-quarter-star on the Meltzer scale, followed by a Rolling Thunder. Orton pulls RVD out of the ring and dropkicks him on the floor, before going to work on Booker in the ring. 

He queues up the RKO, but Booker shoves him off and lifts him up for a back suplex right as RVD hits Orton with a top-rope crossbody at the same time. Cool spot. RVD gets near falls on Orton and then Booker, but Orton counters a monkey flip attempt by throwing RVD over the top rope. Booker hits Orton with the axe kick, but RVD is in just in time to break up the pin. RVD hits Booker with the Five-Star, but Orton bundles RVD out of the ring and steals the pin to retain the title. 

Grade: C- - There were some good ideas in there, but the execution was a little clunky and it didn’t have a tonne of heat or anything. Orton has a defined direction heading into ‘Mania, while RVD and Booker feel like spare parts.

After the match, Flair and Batista come out to celebrate. Foley then hobbles out, but he’s in bad shape and walks into an RKO on the floor as the tag champs beat down RVD and Booker in the ring. Evolution stand tall to end things.

Show Grade: C+ - A real solid show this week, thanks to the Flair/Benoit match, a decent enough main event and some real strong angle advancement. It feels like there’s a clear path towards WrestleMania. Or road, if you will.