WWE Raw Retro GRADED - February 2, 2004: Nothing Important Happened Today

WWE continues the build to WrestleMania XX on February 2, 2004, as Monday Night Raw takes place at the Bryce Jordan Center on the Penn State University campus.

We open with a recap of Royal Rumble winner Chris Benoit jumping to Raw last week and declaring his intention to for challenge the World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania XX. Later tonight, Golberg will face Kane while Shawn Michaels will go one-on-one with Intercontinental Champion Randy Orton in a non-title match.

WWE Raw GRADED - February 2, 2004:

We kick things off with Chris Jericho already in the ring for an instalment of The Highlight Reel with guest Chris Benoit. Jericho puts Benoit over for winning the Rumble but warns him that he’s not just dealing with Triple H, but all of Evolution and, worse still, Eric Bischoff. Benoit appreciates the warning, but no one is going to stop him from getting the title at ‘Mania. Jericho thinks Benoit might be the person who stops Benoit from winning it. 

We see a video of Ric Flair telling Benoit at the Rumble that he always lets the brass ring slip through his fingers and here’s The Nature Boy to join the festivities. Flair puts Benoit over as being the best technical wrestler ever, as well as a physical specimen, but he’s a runner-up. HHH is the man around here and Benoit won’t beat him. Benoit disagrees and suggests he and Flair wrestle.

Cue Bischoff, who scraps Jericho and Christian’s scheduled number-one contender match and books them in a World Tag Team Title match against Flair and Batista instead. As for Benoit, he also has a match against a mystery opponent coming up after the break…

Chris Benoit def. Mark Henry w/ Theodore Long

Benoit chops the former Sexual Chocolate to start, but Henry clubs him down and drops him with a big shoulder block. Benoit again with chops, but again he gets knocked down. Henry with a clothesline, and Benoit comes back yet again with chops. And, yet again, he gets knocked down. Benoit with dropkicks to the knee and an enziguiri, before hitting a flying shoulder block off the top as HHH strolls down the entrance ramp. 

Benoit moves out the way of a running charge in the corner, but Henry counters a German suplex attempt with an elbow to the side of the head. The German is countered again, but Benoit catches Henry’s clothesline and finishes with the Crippler Crossface. HHH smirks and claps for Benoit after the match.

Grade: D - A quick victory for Benoit over a larger guy as they’re portraying him as a big-time underdog on Raw. It looked like Henry was hurt at the end and, indeed, it seems he dislocated his shoulder. He’d be out for over a year after tearing his quadriceps while working out in OVW in preparation for his comeback. Sucks as he was just starting to show some real improvement.

Escape the Rules and watch Raw. Hey, I AM watching Raw! Good luck finding me, Rules. Backstage, Sheriff Austin bumps into Shawn Michaels. He tells Michaels that if he wants another shot of the World Heavyweight Championship, he should go do something about it.

Last week, Foley returned to Raw and got into it with Randy Orton, Batista and Flair. Backstage, Foley bumps into Test, who is mad that Foley jumped him from behind and stole his spot in the Rumble. Orton attacks Foley from behind and hits him in the head with the Intercontinental Championship belt. He calls Foley his b*tch before walking away.

The WWE Sting of the Night (brought to you by YJ Stinger’s Stacker 2) is Jackie flashing Rob Conway during his match with Rico last Monday. 

Rico w/ Miss Jackie def. Rene Dupree w/ Rob Conway

Rico with some spanking and riding to start, but Conway goes after Jackie on the floor and the distraction allows Dupree to attack Rico from the ring apron. Dupree with stomps and chops before hitting a power post. He slaps on a neck vice, before switching to a chinlock. Rico fights back, but gets knocked back down and Dupree goes back to the vice and then the chinlock. Thrilling.

Rico rallies with a jawbreaker, atomic drop, clothesline, back elbow and back body drop. A martial arts kick in the corner gets two, as does another one in the centre of the ring. Dupree pulls Rico into the turnbuckle by his tights and is punching away when Stacy Keibler comes out. Rico goes for a monkey flip, but Conway holds onto Dupree to prevent it from happening. Stacy gets on the apron and shows Dupree her backside, distracting him long enough for Rico to hit a spinning kick for the win. After the match, Stacy and Jackie awkwardly dance together.

Grade: D - Just a quick match to give the announcers the opportunity to talk about the WrestleMania Playboy cover issue.

In the back, Trish Stratus is on her way to the ring when she bumps into Christian. He’s just there, reading about The Beatles in Rolling Stone magazine. They could have been so much more if it wasn’t for Yoko Ono, wink wink. If Christian was Paul McCartney, he wouldn’t wait for Yoko to break up the band. He’d smash her with a one-man Con-chair-to instead. He wishes Trish luck in her WWE Women’s Title match, which is next.

We get a video showing Linda McMahon talking to college voters at the National Press Club in Washington, DC. Linda speaks well and seems nice. Maybe she should get into politics? I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?

Trish is out for her match with Molly Holly, but Eric Bischoff says it’s off because Trish isn’t the number one contender and instead books…

Trish Stratus vs. Kane

The match never happens as Jericho runs in and saves Trish from a chokeslam. Trish runs away as Kane hits Jericho in the knee with a chair before running his knee into the ring post as we take a break.

Back from the break, Jericho is getting his knee looked at in the trainer’s room when Trish comes in to thank him. Jericho wants to tell her something important, but Christian quickly interrupts and questions Jericho’s motivations. Jericho objects to Christian’s tone and suggests he focus his energies on their match tonight.

Goldberg vs. Kane - No Contest

Why don’t WWE just put a blonde wig on Goldberg and claim he’s Trish Stratus? Nah, WWE would never put a blonde wig on Goldberg, would they? That would be stupid. 

Anyway, Kane slugs away to start before Goldberg comes back with a clothesline. He tees off on Kane and hits a jumping shoulder block. He kicks Kane in the chest, but Kane one-ups him with a big boot to the face. 

Kane chokes him on the rope and hits a sidewalk slam. A chinlock goes nowhere and Goldberg hits a powerslam followed by two clotheslines. Goldberg runs at Kane, who catches him with a chokeslam, but the lights go out and ‘lightning’ strikes the ring post as another spooky video plays. Kane turns around into a spear, but the Undertaker’s gong hits and the ring fills with smoke as Goldberg signals for the Jackhammer.

Goldberg leaves, as does Kane, as we seemingly have a no contest.

Grade: D - The match wasn’t pretty, but it was suitably hard-hitting. It didn’t really have time to go anywhere before all of the supernatural shenanigans, however.

Booker T def. Matt Hardy

Matt Facts: Matt has never run out of gas while driving and Matt’s chest hair grows swiftly. Booker’s neck was supposedly injured during a match on last night’s episode of Heat.

They trade some scrappy punches to start, as Matt hits a scrappy clothesline for a near fall. Something tells me this one is going to be scrappy. Matt with a hotshot onto the top rope, which he follows up with a corner clothesline/running bulldog combo. 

Matt slaps on a sleeper as the announcers note that Henry’s shoulder was knocked completely out of the socket earlier. Matt with a second-rope elbow onto the back of Booker’s neck. Booker fights out of a full nelson but gets taken down with a knee to the gut. A jumping leg drop gets two for Matt. Booker fights out of a chinlock, but misses a spinning kick and the side effect gets two for Matt.

He goes for another one, but Booker fights him off and hits a spinebuster. Booker with a dropkick and a side kick for two. Booker with a big kick to Matt’s face and follows up with the Spinaroonie. Matt ducks another kick, but Booker counters the Twist of Fate and hits the axe kick for three. 

Grade: D+ - Just a match between two people with much of nothing going on at the moment. Best one of the night so far, though that’s not exactly high praise.

Backstage, Randy Orton tries to intimidate Shawn Michaels, but it doesn’t work because Michaels is all on edge and stuff right now. 

HHH is out and dressed for action, but he wants to talk first because he always does, doesn’t he? After next week’s contract signing, there’s no turning back for Benoit, whose dream will become a nightmare. Benoit will wrestle Flair next week, but right now HHH is going to show Benoit what it’s like to be the best.

Triple H def. Spike Dudley

Non-title, of course. Spike gets a couple of shots in, but is quickly taken down with the jumping high knee. HHH beats on him in the corner then hits a vertical suplex, followed by a knee drop. The Pedigree ends things quickly.

Grade: D- - Just a quick squash. Nothing to see here.

The WWE Rewind is Brock Lesnar trash talking Goldberg on last week’s SmackDown. In Goldberg’s locker room, Sheriff Austin gives Goldberg a front row ticket for SmackDown’s No Way Out pay-per-view in a couple of weeks. If Goldberg goes to the PPV, he’s not just representing himself, or Raw, but the good name of “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. So don’t do anything Austin wouldn’t do.

Ric Flair & Batista (c) def. Chris Jericho & Christian - WWE World Tag Team Championships

Flair and Christian wrestle around with each other to start, before they run the international and Christian counters a hip toss into an abdominal stretch. Cradle gets two for Christian, who hits a back body drop for another near fall. Blind tag to Batista, who hits a big spinebuster. Tag back out to Flair and he and Christian crack heads for a double down. 

Tag to Jericho, who hits a clothesline, back elbow, enziguiri and hip toss, but is clearly favouring the knee that was injured by Kane earlier. Christian and Jericho send Batista out with a double clothesline over the top rope and Christian follows with a dive. Jericho hits Flair with a bulldog, but he lands on his feet on a Lionsault attempt, further injuring the knee. Jericho counters the figure-four into an inside cradle and then locks Flair in the Walls of Jericho.

Flair taps, but the referee doesn’t see it, allowing Batista to come in and chopblock Jericho’s knee. Flair locks in the figure-four this time and gets the win via submission. 

Grade: D - This was way shorter than it should have been. If these guys had 10 or 12 minutes to play with, I reckon they could have a really good match together. If nothing else, the loss here gives Christian more of a reason to be a jerk to Jericho, and that is certainly entertaining. 

Shawn Michaels def. Randy Orton

Strong lockup to start before Orton punches away in the corner. Michaels comes back with chops and turns a crucifix into a sunset flip before hitting a side headlock takeover. Orton back elbows his way out of trouble and hits some uppercuts and stomps. Orton slips out of a slam attempt and goes for a dropkick, but Michaels ducks and referee Mike Chioda gets wiped out instead. 

Orton sends Michaels hard into the turnbuckle and grabs his IC Title belt, but here’s Sheriff Austin on his ATV and he’s bringing referee Earl Hebner with him. Austin confiscates the belt and carts Chioda backstage. Orton attempts a back suplex but both men end up going over the top rope and Michaels has hurt his knee.

Back from the break with Orton in control. Michaels fights out of a chinlock, but Orton takes him down with a knee and goes right back to it. Michaels gets a schoolboy for a near fall before Orton takes him down with a clothesline. More chinlock, but Michaels slaps on a sleeper only for Orton to counter with a back suplex. Orton goes for a top rope crossbody, but Michaels moves and both men are down.

They’re back up before the 10 count as Michaels hits the flying forearm and top-rope elbow. He tunes up the band, but Sweet Chin Music is blocked, as is the RKO, so Orton settles for a DDT. Mick Foley is out and heading towards the ring, the distraction allowing Michaels to roll up Orton for the win. 

After the match, Foley and Orton brawl into the crowd, which draws out Evolution as Flair and Batista go after them. HHH goes after Michaels in the ring, but Benoit runs out to pull him away and doesn’t flinch when HHH goes to strike him. HHH retreats while Benoit shakes Shawn’s hand as the show goes off the air.

Grade: C - Pretty decent main event here, as these two usually have solid matches together. Nothing special, but good enough and the best match on the show by some distance. Orton continues to drip confidence.

Show Grade: D+ - Far from a great episode of Raw here, as there’s a lot going on in the build to WrestleMania and some of the storylines aren’t getting enough room to breathe. Even though a bunch of stuff happened, none of it felt too important. The wrestling wasn’t anything to write home about, either, but some of the stories are at least compelling and the show does a good enough job of making you want to see where they go, I suppose.