WWE Raw Retro GRADED: January 5, 2004 - There's A New Sheriff In Town

Hello and welcome to Retro GRADED!

In case you missed the January 1, 2004, SmackDown GRADED – which you can read here – know that this is a new entry in the GRADED series, which looks at the full year of a promotion, in this case WWE in 2004. We’ll be covering all the Raws, SmackDowns, and pay-per-views of that year, so help us God.

The first Raw of 2004 takes place in Memphis, Tennessee, with Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler as your commentators. Eric Bischoff is still general manager of Raw, while Steve Austin has recently been reinstated and installed as the red brand’s 'sheriff.'

We open the show with Bischoff backstage complaining to Jonathan Coachman about Austin still being around. Teddy Long and Mark Henry interrupt, and they want to cash in their Survivor Series favour - Henry was on Bischoff’s team, which beat Austin’s team. The favour? Teddy gets to be the GM of Raw for one night, which Bischoff agrees to. Teddy Long as general manager? That’ll never work…

After the opening sequence, during which they advertise Ric Flair and Batista defending the World Tag Team Titles against The Dudley Boyz, Teddy Long strolls out and starts ranting about how racist Memphis is. That doesn’t sit well with Jerry Lawler, who heads to the ring but takes an RKO from Randy Orton before he can get his hands on Teddy.

Backstage, Orton brags to Long, but Henry shows up and says he wants a crack at Orton’s Intercontinental Title tonight. Long makes the match, but then Sheriff Austin interjects and says Rob Van Dam (who dropped the title to Randy at Armageddon) should be getting his rematch. Austin makes Henry vs. RVD, with the winner getting an IC Title match next week.

Jonathan Coachman comes out to replace Lawler on commentary.

Spike Dudley def. Renee Dupree

Dupree is initially accompanied by Rob Conway, but Conway heads to the back during Dupree’s entrance. They show the infamous clip of Spike taking a backwards flapjack over the top rope four months ago, with his head cracking off the edge of a table at ringside. That could have been much, much worse for Spike.

Spike unloads with punches to start but Dupree throws him down and turns him inside out with a clothesline. Dupree with a flapjack and then a stalling vertical suplex for two. Spike with a headbutt to the midsection, but the Dudley Dog is countered with a hard whip into the turnbuckle as Spike takes the Bret Hart bump.

Dupree slaps on a hold and then continues to stomp away when Spike counters a military press into a sunset flip for the surprise victory.

Post-match, the Dudleyz come out to celebrate with Spike but they are attacked on the ramp by Flair & Batista. 

Grade: D+ - Just a quick match without much heat. JR and Coach spent most of the match bickering about football.

Trish Stratus talks about her song on the upcoming WWE Originals CD.

Backstage, Christian apologises to Chris Jericho over the whole Trish thing (look it up). Jericho accepts and Christian informs him that they have a tag match coming up soon. 

We get a video on the Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels World Heavyweight Title classic from the December 29, 2003, edition of Raw. Meanwhile, Lawler is back out and wants his spot back, but GM for the night Teddy Long makes it a three-man booth with Coach, because he doesn’t want a Black man to lose his gig to a White man for no reason.

Chris Jericho & Christian def. The Hurricane & Rosey

Rosey and Christian start as Rosey clotheslines him down and tags in Hurricane for a double hiptoss, before hiptossing Hurricane onto Christian. That gets two, as Christian tags in Jericho, who hits a spinning heel kick. Hurricane gets a diving blockbuster off the second rope and queues up the Shining Wizard, but Jericho ducks and Hurricane gets sent to the outside after Christian pulls down the middle rope. 

Vitamin C work over Hurricane and Christian slaps on a front chancery. The referee misses a tag to Rosey (stupid Earl Hebner) and Hurricane continues to be worked on until he counters a double back body drop with a double DDT.

Rosey gets the tag and bumps Christian and Jericho around, but Jericho breaks up the pin after Christian takes a Samoan drop. The Super Hero In Training rolls under a double clothesline attempt and hits Jericho and Christian with one of his own before canning Y2J.

Hurricane hits a crossbody off the top to the outside on Jericho, while Rosey plants Christian with a Boss Man Slam. Christian gets his foot on the ropes to break the count, however. Rosey misses a charge in the corner and Jericho slams Rosey’s head into the ring post, allowing Christian to hit the reverse DDT for the win. 

Grade: C- - Just a quick but fairly entertaining match to re-establish Jericho and Christian as a team and show that they’re on the same page once again (for now).

We replay Evolution beating down The Dudleyz from earlier in the evening. 

Steven Richards w/ Victoria def. Test

These guys have been scrapping on Heat as of late, and Test is mad, either because he’s been losing those matches or because he’s been reduced to wrestling Steven Richards on Heat, I’m not sure.

Test cheap shots Richards to start and chases Victoria around the ring. Richards tries to fire back but gets knocked down with a clothesline and is thrown shoulder-first into the ring post. Test works the arm and Richards gets a sunset flip for two. He hits an X-Factor and ducks a big boot, but his Stevie Kick attempt is blocked, and Test goes for the pumphandle slam. 

Victoria is up on the apron to distract, however, and Richards gets two off a schoolboy. Test hits a nice full nelson slam and grabs Victoria. A pumphandle is countered again and Test sets up the boot, but tries to hit Victoria on the apron and crotches himself, allowing Richards to roll him up for the three.

Post-match, Test hits Victoria with the big boot and is attacked by a furious Richards.

Grade: C- - They were trying out there, but didn’t have too much time and Test appears to have lost a lot of momentum after a busy 2003.

Sheriff Austin is out to talk about some stuff, primarily a rematch between HBK and HHH, when HHH interrupts him. HHH does his lame stand-up routine, making fun of the whole sheriff thing. Austin doesn’t see the funny side and notes that he will be upholding the law anyway he sees fit, which includes the threat of a Stunner or even stripping HHH of his title.

They get back onto the subject of HBK’s rematch, and here’s Shawn to join the party. He wants the match, which Austin makes official for the Royal Rumble. Oh, and it’ll be a Last Man Standing match, too. HHH lays Michaels out with a Pedigree to end the segment. 

Trish Stratus def. Molly Holly by DQ

Victoria was supposed to be challenging Molly Holly for the WWE Women’s Championship here, but Test’s big boot put an end to that. Teddy Long drafts in Trish as her replacement (because he wants to see two white women beat each other up) and makes the match a non-title affair. 

Molly attacks before the bell and throws Trish around by her hair inside the ring. Molly with a low dropkick and snap suplex, which gets two, before slapping on a chinlock. Trish fires back and gets two off a wheelbarrow roll-up and la magistral. A spinebuster gets two and Trish hits the Stratusphere hurricanrana, but turns the Stratusfaction bulldog into a sunset flip for two.

Trish climbs to the top rope, but Jazz runs in and pushes her off for the disqualification.

After the match, Jazz continues her beatdown and throws Molly out of the ring before locking an STF on Trish. Jericho runs in for the save, but Trish doesn’t look happy to see him and walks off. 

Grade: D - The action itself was decent enough but they were pressed for time and rushing from one spot to the next.

We get a paid announcement from the friends and supporters of Randy Orton, done in the style of a political ad, that calls Mick Foley a coward for walking away after Orton spit in his face on the December 15, 2003, episode of Raw.

WrestleMania Recall looks at Kane giving Pete Rose a Tombstone Piledriver at WrestleMania XIV.

Rob Van Dam def. Mark Henry w/ Teddy Long - Winner Faces Randy Orton for the WWE Intercontinental Championship

RVD hits a glancing kick to the face and goes to work on chopping the tree down with leg kicks and low dropkicks. Henry counters a spin kick attempt into a hard powerslam in an impressive spot. RVD comes back with a flying side kick off the top rope and baseball slides Henry, who is on the outside. 

RVD goes for a moonsault off the apron, which Henry was supposed to catch but didn’t and muscles up RVD anyway. RVD pushes him into the ring post and goes for a flying something off the apron, but Henry cracks him in the head with a chair on the way down.

Referee Charles Robinson calls for the DQ, but Long says it’s No DQ and restarts the match. Cue Sheriff Austin, who comes out on his ATV and chases Long around the ring, after crashing it into the ring post. 

Back from the break with Henry holding RVD in a bearhug. Henry puts RVD’s throat on the second rope and runs and jumps on the back of his head, which looked like it sucked to take. RVD comes back with a triangle choke, a front flip leg drop and the Rolling Thunder for a near fall. The skateboard dropkick with the chair ticks Henry off, but RVD is able to hit the Van Daminator and a Five-Star Frog Splash for the win.

After the match, Austin chases Long back out and I’ll give you precisely one guess at how that turns out for Teddy. 

Grade: C - This felt like it could have been better with more time, but it was fine for a highflyer versus power wrestler match. RVD versus Orton should be good, too.

Backstage, Chris Jericho tries to talk to Trish Stratus, who is in the shower. Jericho explains his real feelings for her, but it’s Mae Young, not Trish, who is actually in the shower. Hilarity ensues as Mae gives Jericho a peek at her ‘puppies.’

Kane comes out for a promo, with his pyro knocking Coach off his chair. He talks about wanting to win the Royal Rumble and not trusting anyone, such as The Undertaker, who eliminated him last year. Well, Kane buried him alive at Survivor Series so he doesn’t have to worry about that. Kane attacked Booker T last week because Booker got his world title shot at WrestleMania XIX. 

Booker runs out and they fight, with Booker ultimately getting the better of their exchange and clotheslining Kane over the top rope. Booker enters the Rumble and promises to eliminate Kane from the match on his way to victory.

We get another video hyping up the WWE Originals CD.

Evolution (Ric Flair & Batista) (c) def. The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray Dudley & D-Von Dudley) - WWE World Tag Team Championships

D-Von slugs away on Batista to start, but Batista takes control and beats him down. Tag to Bubba, who hits a running splash in the corner followed by a crossbody off the second rope for a two count. Flair tags in and gets knocked down as Bubba struts. Flair with strikes and chops, but Bubba comes back with chops of his own and hits a back body drop and a sidewalk slam for two.

There’s an awkward exchange where everyone is in the ring that ends with Flair on top of Bubba. They work over Bubba’s knee, which includes Flair slapping on the Figure-Four, but Flair goes up top and is predictably thrown off.

Tag to D-Von, who cleans house and gets two off a powerslam before getting Batista out of the ring. D-Von misses a second-rope elbow drop, but Bubba comes in to flip, flop, and fly for a two count. The Dudleyz hit Batista with a back suplex/neckbreaker combo and the Wazzup on Flair. 

3D on Flair, but HHH is out to distract the referee, allowing Batista to hit the Batista Bomb on D-Von. Flair puts an arm over D-Von for the three.

After the match, Shawn Michaels sneaks into the ring and blasts HHH with Sweet Chin Music to end the show. 

Grade: C- - This was pretty messy in places and didn’t really feel like a Raw main event, but it did what it needed to do, I guess.

Show Grade: C- - This show didn’t do as much as last week’s SmackDown did when it came to getting things ready for the Royal Rumble. Some of the wrestling was fine, but there was no standout match and a bunch of what felt like filler. We’ve got RVD vs. Randy Orton for the IC Title to look forward to next week, plus more build to HBK vs. HHH, and no doubt some wacky antics from Sheriff Austin.